


supposition

by falchion



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: M/M, Post Break-up, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-14 05:54:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9165028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/falchion/pseuds/falchion
Summary: his love was a phantom, a ghost of something that had once existed. he was in love with someone who had never existed.





	

victor rings him seventeen times the first week after they break up, each attempt going to voicemail and leaving him more broken each time. he leaves a message regardless, despite the knowledge that in this day in age it was a technology more obsolete than his relationship with katsuki yuuri.

he sits alone on his sofa in st. petersbug, each second that he spends alone a distinct reminder of the situation in which he lives. the sight of his hands sicken him, the hands that have lead him to where he is now, the hands that are to blame for everything, the hands that he can't escape from no matter how much he wishes he could.

victor had known love once, when he was a youth alone in the rink. he thought that was what happiness was, being on top of the world with eyes fawning for your every move. he had been happy - no, content was what it was, and it was nothing in comparison to the blizzard that was katsuki yuuri.

yuuri was different - he was not simply a fan who placed victor on a pedestal, but someone who treated him as a person, as someone real. his smiles and laughs and hands wrapped around his had brought victor warmth, and in that moment victor had thought to himself, 'this is what true happiness feels like'.

and he fell for yuuri hard. yuuri was everything victor had ever needed; yuuri was his strength, his pillar, his lover and his life. yuuri could be there for him in a way no other could, as someone who could understand him and believe in him and never leave him. yuuri became everything to victor, and something more.

it was yuuri who spoke first, of his concern for victors wellbeing and health. 'you're smothering me,' he'd said, the words tumbling with pain. 'you think of me as this person that's perfect, that i'm everything for you, and i'm not.'

but yuuri was wrong - that was what he was. he was victors everything, and he could not live without him. 'i love you,' victor had said quietly.

yuuri shook his head.

'it's not me you love, victor,' he told him. 'you're in love with whatever version of me you have stuck in your head; the version of me that's perfect and infallible and who can treat you in a way that no human ever could - in a way that i never could. you're in love with someone that's not me, and it's hurting us both.'

and just like that, he was gone.

yuuri had shattered whatever illusion victor had left, leaving him alone once more.

the yuuri of his dreams no longer existed - in fact, he never had.

now, he had nothing.

**Author's Note:**

> imagine being told that you've been in love a version of someone who didn't exist, but rather just your fucked up projection of perfection onto someone who was slowly buckling under your demands to try and match up with whatever you believed them to be. 
> 
> i fucking hate myself, and im sorry.


End file.
